If the Genie Grants me Three Wishes.

Well. That is not going to happen anyway. Why not fantasize about it. The three wishes I mentioned below, are my whims. They might be crass, absolutely foolish, and unfit for society. Before labeling me anything, hey, human beings are entitled to have opinions.

First wish

Life begins with birth. Let’s go back a little, before the birth.

‘Men should have menstrual cycle.’

No. This has nothing to do with Gender equality; neither do I have any Anti-patriarchal explanations.

Men should have a Menstrual cycle because I’d like to achieve an objective through this. That objective is my wish.

In female anatomy, the ovaries develop in their body for 14 days. If men too had similar anatomical characteristics, the produced sperm will have to be in their body for some time.

The objective: The sperm and the egg should have a neuron connection that should tap into the hippocampus of the human brain.

Yes. I can sense the ‘WHY’ in your mind. The Frontal lobe of the cerebral cortex and hippocampus amygdala in our human brain is responsible for the processing of short and long term memories.

What can be achieved by allowing neurons to tap the memories stored in the brain?

The sperm and the egg should have the required information about the world. Before they fertilize, show them a teaser about how the world works. Give them a trailer about how devious and unfair it is. Hand them over an opportunity to choose whether they want to come to this world.

‘Kid, you could be born to Jeff Bezos, or you could be born in Somalia. It’s totally up to you to decide whether you want to fertilize into a baby or not.’

They say it’s a running race among the sperms. Give them something to chew about while they are running (technically swimming). So it shouldn’t be the parents’ choice alone to bring children into the world. The deciding authority should be given to the children.

On a positive note, no kid can ask their parents, ‘Did I ask you to conceive me ?’

Second Wish

Now, I have one for gender equality and anti-patriarchy.

The pregnancy should be shared between men and women.

Men should have to carry the baby for four months, and it should be transferred to the women for the rest or vice versa.

Don’t ask me the technical ‘how is it possible.’ It’s a wish.

‘Nature gave women the anatomy and the ability to conceive. Men cannot do that,’ is one of the most advocative arguments men used to shield themselves all these years.

Let’s not give them that chance.

Women were confined to their home for centuries. They weren’t (are) given equal opportunity and liberty to fly on their own. They were considered weak. Because, anatomy.

On the patriarchal side, men (most of them) don’t understand the pain women go through.

Indian population quadrupled between 1947 and 2020. If men were supposed to carry the pregnancy for four months, would that population growth possible?

Even in the 21st century, it’s women who are being pushed to sterilize after a baby or two. Not the other way around.

I do have another point to make. Especially for all those men who read this feeling, I betrayed them.

Because men don’t share the pregnancy, women use it against men all their lives. Women enjoy a monopoly over their kid’s life, citing the 9 months for almost every situation.

On the shore level, this may seem like converting men into women, but it’s about sharing the responsibility and keeping women in check to not use their motherhood against men.

Third wish

I don’t have any explanation for my 3rd wish. I don’t think I need one because it is self-explanatory.

If someone lies, a red light should glow on top of their head. If it is a half-lie, let it be an orange light.

Imagine how it would simplify the world. Lakhs and lakhs of cases pending in our courts, the promises made by our political leaders, when our teacher say, ‘You’d have to work hard only up to your SSLC. After that, life is a cakewalk,’ Or asking trump, “ Did you threaten Ukraine?”

On the downside, Yes, we cannot play poker; neither can we lie to our spouse about how bad the food is.

Special mention

If the genie is in a good mood or if it asks for an alternate wish, I have a special mention too. Keep Nandamuri “Balayya” Balakrishna young; forever and beyond. Jai Chennakeshava.

Folks, don’t be like Chandler M.Bing. If the genie grants you three wishes, take the three. Live minimum, Disturb minimum.